Wednesday, March 22, 2006

coffee and cigarettes

There's too much of the former and not enough of the latter in my life.
That is, of course, because I am an Incurable Sensible Person (ISP).
Not so sensible that I never smoke, though. If I didn't know better I'd smoke all day. Bloody love it. Love the feeling of it, the way I feel like a 1930-s German Film Noir-star (if there's such a thing, film noir is not really my field of expertise), love how it is totally enjoyable without making you put on weight - and how it's perfect for moments, minutes, hours, days, weeks of boredom/stress/nerves.

But I'm an ISP. So I limit my smokes to a few every other week or so. Like I control every other aspect of my life. I have friends, dear friends, who I honestly think secretly hate me for it. I have the boyfriend. I got the degree. I'm on the career ladder. None of this is something that I'm overly proud of. I haven't exactly achieved anything that would make people go wow.

Except my friends, of course. Yep, I love them all. They're funny, intelligent, interesting, entertaining people who know how to talk, how to write, what to talk about, how to party, where to go, what to do... except what to DO with their lives!

This wouldn't bother me so much if it wasnt' for the fact that they, all of them, constantly come to me for advice. I guess I'm like the token sensible person in their posse. But I have no advice to give them. What can I say? "You're 31, you've been to uni for 8 years but you still can't work out what you want to do with your life, so in the meantime you put it on hold, work in a job that you don't even need high school to do, can't decide whether to marry your boyfriend, get drunk with me every forthnight and COMPLAIN??"

It drives me mad. Seriously - why do they ask me?? They never seem to want any advice anyway. They just want to carry on with their under-stimulating lives, waiting for mr right and The Perfect Job (but what that would be, they can't articulate) to fall in their lap. Which it won't of course.

So just shut up.. I don't know. Fix yout own lives. It's not that hard. Not making a decision is also making a decision.


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